Year 6 Annual Reflection: Time Travel & Identity

By Tee Rogers

This week – on 12/2 – i celebrate 6 years with Dignity Memorial serving Central Florida as a pre-planning advisor. Last year i wrote “Five Years, Five Lessons”. So … What’s new?

Last year i coined my title “Time Travel Agent”. There are several professions that could adopt that title – but none as poignant and significant as those of us in deathcare pre-planning. We are literally taking that arrangement conference that happens after the loss of a loved one and pulling it back in time to TODAY – so that we can make those heavy emotional and financial decisions – every detail – without the urgency, pressure, stress, and grief wreaking chaos in our hearts as when a death has just occurred.

In the past year i’ve thought a lot (more) about the intersection of diversity and pre-planning. The option for this “time travel” becomes even more important when our identity & network of love looks different from the traditional family. This understanding is why i wrote the Identity Affirming Deathcare Directives and why i’ve advocated so hard for preplanning in LGBTQ+, minority religious, and AHoSI (Atheist, Humanist, and other Secular Identities) communities. If we can have the conversation today, we can mitigate some of the identity-related challenges that may be faced when a death occurs.

“We take anyone’s money” is a red flag, not a signal of affirmation. It means their bottom line is their priority – not you.

Every person, of every identity, deserves equal compassion in deathcare, and deserves to work with informed, affirming deathcare professionals who have invested the time and effort to be educated about their identity. But that isn’t always how it happens. People who face discrimination, miseducation, and othering in daily life may also face those same challenges on the worst days of their life.

One thing that differentiates a deathcare salesperson from a deathcare professional is the time and effort they personally invest to educate themselves about the people they serve, with the goal of providing the best service, asking the best questions, and establishing a safe, compassionate space for planning that people can feel comfortable in.

Serving older adults

Age diversity is important, too: the one demographic we see most often in deathcare sales is older Americans – 55+. In pre-planning we most often see those who are approaching retirement or who have already retired. Younger people should do this to mitigate burden & stress should something unexpected occur, but it’s hard to think about mortality as a real issue until later in life. I learned about a certification to help professionals who serve older adults provide better care, increase empathy, and enhance awareness of what older Americans face – the Certified Senior Advisor (CSA) certification. Last year, i achieved this certification and actively participate in the CSA Leaders Network here in Central Florida. I also serve on the Orange County Commission on Aging Advisor y Board. (Tee’s CSA Bio)

What does creating a safe space for a deathcare planning conversation look like for older adults?

Creating trust can be a greater challenge because predators target older Americans relentlessly. The person as well as their loved ones may be on high alert for – and sick and tired of – any sales pressure or tactics. As they should be.
Meet clients where they are with technology. This means taking the time to learn the client’s comfort level and tailoring resources and presentations to that specific client – never assuming or talking down to them.
Ask meaningful questions to understand their journey in deathcare planning and THEIR goals.
Know when and how to invite family members other trusted advisors into the conversation.
Respect the person’s intelligence and autonomy of decisions. For example, some equate hearing challenges with understanding or intelligence challenges.

Serving LGBTQ+ people and people of diverse Religious, Secular, and Spiritual Identities

Diversity & advocacy work for these identities has always been a passion of mine.

Everyone needs that safe space for a deathcare discussion – this can be a difficult conversation for anyone, and those of us trusted to guide families through the journey of deathcare planning should take that duty seriously. When you add the stress for a client of coming out to a stranger – with the anxiety of being judged, misunderstood (maybe even overcharged) – to the stress of talking about mortality and planning for death – well, it’s no wonder people put it off. How do you find an affirming deathcare professional, anyway?

Imaging being transgender client and your pre-planning advisor deadnames you or won’t honor your pronouns;
Or being an Atheist client and your salesperson views their role as a religious ministry and makes religious assumptions or doesn’t understand how to have a secular deathcare conversation;
Or being a Wiccan working with a salesperson whose company doesn’t offer green burial so they tell you there are no such options or mislead you about “natural” burial at their cemetery being the same, or the only option;
Or asking about how to arrange for someone other than your next of kin to be your deathcare surrogate and your advisor doesn’t understand the question or says there are no such options.

So… back to the original question: What’s NEW?

At the Intersection of Serving Diverse Identities and Older Adults

As a Board Member of The Pride Chamber of Orlando, i’ve been working this year on the foundation for a project that will launch in 2026: AgeFWD (Flourish With Dignity). We are creating a networking and resource program for professionals who serve older adults who want to expand their competencies and referral network for serving older LGBTQ+ adults. Its still in it’s infancy, but if you want a peek into the future, visit ThePrideChamber.org/A g eFWD

Mark your calendar for the Ribbon Cutting on May 6th, 2026, to be held at Baldwin Fairchild in Winter Park. Great food, great networking, and great forward motion to serve LGBTQ+ older adults in Central Florida.

My blog articles this year related to diverse identities:

This past year has added for me reinforcement of the importance for diverse identities to have a safe space and for deathcare professionals to take responsibility for creating that space. Many don’t. If you are considering having the conversation about final arrangements and would like to work with someone who cares about your unique experience, please reach out. I’d be honored to help. You know my digits: 407-608-9242.