If this article finds you at a difficult time or after a recent loss, please accept my heartfelt condolences.

Nearly everyone will eventually face important choices about what to do with cremated remains—whether newly received or passed down through generations. When navigating these decisions for ourselves, or when no plan exists and the person’s voice is no longer there to guide us, the range of options can feel overwhelming.

• While traditional burials remain common, cremation continues to rise. In 2024, 61.8% of Americans chose cremation. (For data and trends, visit CANA Industry Statistics)

When cremation is chosen, an essential part of that decision is where—and how—the ashes will ultimately be placed in a way that honors both tradition and personal values. “Placement” or “final resting place” can mean many things today. Some options involve cemeteries, others don’t. There are many meaningful and creative possibilities available, with new alternatives continuing to emerge.

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This choice matters.

Together, you and i will explore that broad range of choices. First, let’s talk about why choosing a final resting place is an important part of cremation planning.

At the heart of my work as a pre-planning advisor is what i think of as preventative care. I often describe myself as a “Time Travel Agent”—someone who looks ahead to a moment when loved ones may be facing emotional, financial, and logistical decisions during a time of grief, and helps bring those decisions back to today where we can handle them in a less stressful and urgent setting. While we can’t remove grief, we can lighten the load by addressing key choices in advance.

When pre-planning, creating a plan for the ashes—whether for immediate placement or for a later time—can spare loved ones uncertainty and provide clarity when it’s needed most. That plan may include keeping an urn for a period of time, even for a generation, such as when a spouse wishes to be placed together in the future. What matters most is that no one is left wondering what to do.

When urns are passed down without guidance, families can face unintended and sometimes painful outcomes. I’ve worked with families who inherited multiple urns from relatives they never met and felt unsure how to honor wishes they never had the chance to hear.

I also think of a family who kept a father’s urn with the intention of scattering his ashes “one day”. As often happens, time blurred by. Years later, the urn was accidentally broken in their home—a moment that was deeply upsetting and traumatic for them.

And then there are stories with gentler endings. One woman reached out to me after holding her husband’s urn for more than 30 years. His wish was to be placed in the ocean, but as her health declined, she realized she could no longer fulfill that wish herself. Together, we arranged for his placement at the Neptune Memorial Reef. I was able to bring her photographs of the ceremony and the memorial plaque honoring him on the reef. While it was bittersweet, she felt relief knowing his wishes had been honored.

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Eight Considerations that often shape deathcare decisions.

When talking about final arrangements, i share eight common factors that influence disposition, ceremony, and placement choices. I’ll list them below with some examples or explanations. There’s no hierarchy here—what matters most to you will be deeply personal, and may evolve over time. Most people prioritize several of these – which ones resonate most with you?

• Availability of options – certain choices, such as composting or resomation (water cremation), may not be available in all locations. Some scattering locations may also depend on access or assistance.
• Ecological – for those mindful of their environmental impact, sustainability and minimal footprint might be important considerations.
• Emotional – a deep connection to a place can influence decisions, as can personal fears and comfort with certain options.
• Family Traditions – some choose to do what their families have always done to maintain continuity and provide what is meaningful and comforting to their families.
• Financial – cost matters, but so do value and long-term care and stewardship.
• Practical – efficiency and simplicity are sometimes the highest priorities.
• Religious/Spiritual – there may be a requirement to be honored, such as in Catholicism where ashes are to be kept intact and buried in designated sacred ground. How a person’s religious, secular, and spiritual identity (RSSI) informs their deathcare decisions is very personal – but this can be a central part of the decision for many people.
• Values – many people want their final arrangements and final resting place to reflect the values they lived in their life. How those values manifest in the arrangements can be different for every person.

Below you’ll find the exploration of various options. To support this conversation, i’ve created a simple worksheet designed for reflection on what matters most to you and your loved ones. Download “Urn Placement Reflection Worksheet” PDF

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Ready? Let’s explore.

The options below reflect the wide range of meaningful ways families choose to care for cremated remains. Not every option will be right for every person—but understanding what’s possible can help clarify what matters most. You may wish to read this section straight through, or simply skim for options that resonate with you.

For each, i’ll try to consistently answer: What it is | Why families choose it | and key considerations

Veteran Placement Options (Thank you for your service!)

Qualified veterans, among other benefits, can have their urn, and their spouse’s urn, placed at a national cemetery at no cost to the family. Depending on the options available at the VA cemetery you choose, they may offer in-ground burial of urns and/or above ground niches. A few also feature scattering gardens. Mixed disposition (one spouse cremated and one casketed) can be accommodated at most national cemeteries where burial spaces are available.

• To find a National Cemetery and find information about their options, visit cem.va.gov/find-cemetery

Be well-informed ahead of time. A trusted pre-planning advisor can review with you all of your Veterans’ burial benefits to ensure you can maximize them. They can also provide your family with a simple roadmap for navigating those benefits when the time comes and make sure you know which parts your family will have to handle (and how to, including relevant forms needed) and which parts the funeral home will coordinate on your behalf.

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Traditional In-Ground Burial

One of the most familiar choices, in-ground burial, involves placing the urn in a cemetery plot. This may be a full traditional cemetery space or one that is smaller and designed for cremated remains. Families may choose in-ground placement to keep the remains close to other relatives who are buried there. Some cemeteries may feature urn gardens – an area in the cemetery for in-ground placement of cremated remains.

For families who want to create a legacy, there are options for private estates and custom memorialization, mausoleums, and monuments. Such options can provide for burial only, cremation only, or mixed interment allowing for family members to make that personal decision and still have a place with the family.

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Above-Ground Cremation Placement

Just as with in-ground burial, cremated remains can be placed in a mausoleum (above ground structure for casket placement). However, there are options designed just for cremation.

A columbarium is a structure—often in a cemetery or memorial garden—that contains niches where one or more urns can be placed. This option provides a permanent, above-ground location that family and friends can visit, often with engraved plaques or cover plates. Community columbaria (where you purchase one niche in a wall or structure) vary widely in style, from traditional stone architecture to more modern indoor spaces such as glass-front niches where the urns are displayed and the space can sometimes be personalized.

Custom family columbaria, designed as a family legacy housing multiple family members or even generations, can be a wonderful cremation option providing a place of reflection personal and meaningful to your loved ones.

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Cremation Gardens and Creative Cemetery Options

Some cemeteries may feature a cremation garden where there are multiple placement options intermixed with natural or manicured features to create a peaceful setting for memorialization, reflection, and connection. You may also be able to use some of these options in general cemetery gardens, in designated areas in the cemetery, or in private cemetery areas such as a purchased private estate. Your cemetery can guide you as to their options. Some of these options may also be appropriate for a home garden.

Placement options might include:

• Benches – a bench built to encase urns either within the bench structure or in an attached pedestal
• Cenotaph – dedicated memorial, either to include a niche or any other inurnment option or simply a memorialization (such as a memorial bench), when the cremated remains will not be present.
  • Some municipalities, LGBTQ+ centers, synagogues, and arts spaces host memorial walls, walks, or monuments.
• Columbaria – walls or other structures containing niches
• Cored Headstones – can blend the traditional headstone presence with a practical cremation placement option
• Cremorials – small headstone-like or boulder-like monuments designed to encase cremated remains
• Memory garden – a more natural appearing area, or a curated garden, where ashes may be placed with a small memorialization plaque. Options may include tree planting and dedication
• Ossuary – large communal urn, often underground, where ashes can be placed. Usually also with a large memorial or wall featuring small plaques for memorialization.
• Pedestals – square structures that hold multiple cremated remains and can be customized with creative stock or custom toppers
• Private estates – areas bordered with walls or natural features that can be customized
• Scattering garden – communal area designated for scattering usually with a large memorial or wall featuring small plaques for memorialization
• Statuary – sculptures or artistic features that encase or incorporate cremated remains

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Religious Columbaria and Church-based Memorial Gardens

Some faith communities may maintain their own columbaria, urn garden, or memorial garden on church grounds. These may include some Catholic, Episcopal, Jewish, Buddhist, and Hindu faith communities. Such an option can bridge a person’s lived faith to their final resting place and be a meaningful option for families.

A note here. When choosing a church (or other privately held cemetery), it’s important to ask what would happen to the cremated remains should that church / entity ever move, dissolve, or change format from in-person to online. Denomination rules, state laws, funds for perpetual care, and other factors will determine the outcome. The cemetery property could be taken over by the state or by a higher governing body within the faith (such as a diocese), or by a private entity. Maintenance and upkeep could fall to the families. You have the right to ask about the church’s plan (or the plan of any cemetery) for how the grounds will be maintained and cared for over time.

This concern isn’t just theoretical. In 1998 the Task Force on Abandoned and Neglected Cemeteries was formed under the Cemetery Preservation and Consumer Act. This task force reported that 40 to 50 percent of cemeteries in Florida were found to be neglected or abandoned, and many more (estimated in the thousands) unregistered cemetery sites were inferred, including many historic African American cemeteries. In 2021, the Abandoned African-American Cemeteries Task Force was formed to address this issue.

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Reef Options

There are several options for creating structures with ashes that are placed in the ocean to potentially become part of beneficial ocean habitats such as a coral reef. Reef structure or reef/ocean placement should include integrating cremated remains into a scientifically engineered, pH-neutral concrete aggregate that create habitats for marine life. These should be deployed in permitted ocean locations, mitigating the environmental and legal issues. Options may range from simply creating balls or other shapes and placing them on the ocean floor to intricate under-ocean structures. Memorialization may be available.

The largest in the world – and the only one curated by marine biologists – is Neptune Memorial Reef, which is part of the Dignity Memorial network. The reef, which will span 16 acres once finished, currently houses more than 7,000 loved ones. Designed to function as an artificial reef, this underwater sanctuary off the coast of Florida provides a unique resting place beneath the sea. Urns or cremated remains are incorporated into the reef structure, contributing to marine habitat growth and serving as a lasting tribute in a beautiful, natural environment. They also have options for scattering with a cenotaph (memorial plaque) and all placements have memorialization with GPS location.

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Tree or Garden Planting

For many, placing remains with nature feels deeply meaningful. Planting an urn beneath a tree or within a memorial garden invites a sense of ongoing life and renewal. However, cremated remains are high in alkaline minerals and can negatively affect plant growth if not managed properly. That’s why using a soil-scientist designed compound—such as those used in products like a Living Urn—is recommended. These solutions balance pH and provide nutrients so trees and plants can thrive alongside the remains.

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Natural Burial Grounds

Natural burial grounds, especially those that are Green Burial Certified, embrace minimal environmental impact. Some allow the burial of urns in woodland or meadow settings without traditional headstones. The emphasis is on returning to nature in a way that supports conservation goals and fosters simplicity, serenity, and ecological restoration.

Some natural burial cemeteries will not allow cremated remains, so check with the cemetery about their policies for burial.

Tip: visit GreenBurialCouncil.org for information on certified natural burial locations.

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Ocean Scattering

Scattering ashes at sea appeals to those who loved the water or sought freedom in nature. While the ashes may be dispersed, families often create cenotaphs—physical memorials —either at a site like Neptune Memorial Reef or in a traditional cemetery, offering a place to reflect and remember.

Viking Burial? I hear this often from clients. Although there are different interpretations, when people think of “Viking funeral” they generally mean that the body (or urn) are set out in a floating vessel that is set on fire. This can be accomplished using a special urn designed to float temporarily before dissipating into the ocean from the bottom, and setting it afloat in a wreath that can be set on fire.

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Non-Ocean Water Placement

Ocean isn’t the only water with a place in the heart. Lakes, rivers, springs, marshes – these can each hold fond memories for nature-lovers. Keep in mind there are EPA and potentially state regulations regarding placement of ashes in waterways. Some privately owned areas may allow placement with permission, for public areas a permit may be required. In some areas memorial buoys or submersible markers may be allowed or available.

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Other Scattering

Many people want simple scattering in a place that they loved. A favorite story of mine is a gentleman who was pre-planning his cremation. I met him in his home because he was unable to travel to the office. When i asked about the plans for the urn, he lovingly showed me the urns of all the dogs he had rescued throughout his life. He said that when he died, he wanted to be scattered together with all of them in a field so that they could play there together forever.

Important Considerations for scattering

There are potential requirements and impacts that you might want to be aware of when choosing to commit cremated remains to the environment. For example, if you’re in a public place, you likely need a permit. If you’re on private property, you likely need permission. Also, there are regulations around scattering ashes in public places and waterways – including beaches. In the United States, EPA regulations require that ocean scattering be at least three nautical miles offshore to protect coastal waters.

There are various reasons to be aware and intentional when scattering. For example:

• Because of the composition of ashes, when multiple people are incorporating cremated remains into nature it can disrupt an ecosystem or harm plant or wildlife.

• Hold compassionate awareness that different people may view ashes in deeply different ways. For some, ashes are symbolic; for others, they are sacred human remains. I had a person tell me that they won’t walk barefoot at the beach anymore – something they loved – because they saw someone pouring out ashes there, and they didn’t want to “walk in dead people.”

• Consider the options for permanent memorialization at a cemetery or other location so that current grieving family members and future generations have a place to visit, reflect, and connect.

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Sky Scattering & Aviation Ceremonies

Some families choose to scatter ashes from an aircraft. This can be a powerful symbolic way to celebrate a loved one’s spirit “taking flight.” Licensed pilots and specialized companies can handle the logistics, including FAA compliance and safety. For a permanent memorial families may plant a tree, dedicate a bench, or create a cenotaph at a local cemetery, park, or other meaningful place.

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Home Placement & Memorialization

Keeping an urn at home is a valid, common choice many families make, especially when tradition, travel, or emotion make other options difficult. Some people choose to integrate the urn into a dedicated home altar, shelf, or memorial nook with photos and mementos. This allows daily connection and remembrance in a familiar space.

For families choosing home placement, it can be helpful to also consider a plan for what will happen to the urn in the future. Even if you are creating a family columbaria wall in a generations-old homestead, there may come a day when that building is no longer in the family. When accepting the care and custody of an urn, long-term considerations are important so that no one in the future is left with the burden of wondering what to do.

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Memorial Benches and other Memorials in Public Spaces

Cemeteries, and some parks and community green spaces, allow the installation of memorial benches or plaques (cenotaph) honoring loved ones. While the ashes may be interred nearby or scattered according to local rules, these physical markers offer a place for friends and family to visit and reflect.

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Options for a portion of ashes

Options for a portion of the ashes allow for a more permanent placement of the ashes while setting aside some for an additional meaningful tribute. Because ashes can be split (if the person’s religious and personal traditions and preferences allow for it), a single person can have multiple choices, such as burial in two spaces. I recently helped a veteran who wanted his burial at the National Cemetery in honor of his service; he also wanted to be memorialized with his wife in the family plot. He was able to do both.

Another option is one main location, such as a niche in a cemetery or burial at Neptune Memorial Reef, and having a custom memorial experience or tribute. Examples include:

Space Burial

For those drawn to the stars, a space burial launches a small portion of cremated remains into orbit—or even further into deep space. Companies offering this service place tiny capsules aboard a rocket as a symbolic, celestial tribute. It can provide a truly extraordinary final resting place that reflects adventure and cosmic connection.

Artwork & Custom Keepsakes

Increasingly, families choose creative memorialization, such as having a portion of the ashes incorporated into:

• Ceramics
• Cremation candles
• Cremation diamonds
• Cremated remains incorporated in homemade paper inscribed with a favorite verse, quote or lyrics.
• Fireworks
• Floating lanterns
• Glass art (e.g., pendants, sculptures)
• Jewelry that contains ashes or that is made from ashes
  • A watchmaker or jeweler can incorporate ashes into a custom design, or you can find cremation jewelry at online stores or through your local funeral home.
• Kaleidoscope
• Lanterns, nightlights, lightshades or other light-up options incorporating ashes
• Legacy tree ornaments or small creative urns such as a snow globe or hour glass
• Paperweights
• Memorial tattoo
• Paintings / portraits (ashes may be incorporated into the paint)
• Resin designs
• Stones, rocks, boulders, or garden pavers
• Vinyl records with recorded memories or favorite songs
• Wind Chimes

These options provide intimate, portable ways to honor someone’s life while preserving a meaningful keepsake.

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Choosing What’s Right for Your Family

There’s no “correct” choice when it comes to urn placement—it’s about what best reflects the personality, wishes, and values of your loved one and your family. The one thing i tell people who are pre-planning is that choosing a final resting place – or making some plan for the ashes – is an essential piece of the planning.

Whether you choose a traditional cemetery, a living memorial with a tree, an underwater reef, or a home shrine, take the time to explore what feels most meaningful. For families who have generational urns in their care, combining several of these options—such as a cenotaph at a public place plus a home memorial—can offer balance between personal connection and celebration of life’s story.

Professional guidance is helpful.

Consult with a deathcare professional near you who understands the options available to you in your area so that they can give you expert guidance and help find the best solution for you and your family. Before entrusting them with your care and the care of your loved ones in a time of grief, ask about how they and their company can assist with your unique wishes. If you don’t feel they’re the right fit for you, you have the right to seek someone you do feel comfortable working with.