Beyond The Transaction: Service-First Sales in Deathcare
This article inspired by the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) October edition of the “Digging In”, a conversational podcast hosted by licensed funeral directors deeply exploring topics covered in recent episodes of NFDA’s podcast, “A Brush With Death”. Find the podcast on the NFDA website, and follow NFDA on LinkedIn for the next episode of Digging In.
When you list important professional strengths, where do you rank compassion?
Those who choose to serve in the deathcare industry as a profession walk with people through difficult conversations, providing care and services through the journey of loss… or preparing for that journey.
For there to be such jobs, there must be businesses. Where there are businesses, people develop business plans & sales strategy. This creates an inevitable tension leaving us to navigate a profound duality: balancing business success with an unwavering focus on service and care. service focus. Compassion can transmogrify into transaction.
In the professional world of sales, the ultimate goal is to connect a client with a solution. Sales is service oriented at its core, yet can easily shift to be more focused on what the business or the salesperson needs than on what the client needs. And in the deathcare industry, the word “sales” feels too sharp, too clinical. How can we, as sales professionals in deathcare reconcile the need for sound business practices with the profound, sensitive nature of our work?
The answer lies in adopting a model of service-first sales—a philosophy that elevates compassion, transparency, and deep human connection above all else. This isn’t just a business model; it’s an ethical imperative.
More Than Listening: Deep Compassion and Informed Decisions
To serve a family well, we must first master the art of listening. And i don’t mean waiting for a pause so we can present a package. I mean listening deeply to the unspoken—the hesitations, the grief, the underlying anxieties that families carry into our conversation. Listen and genuinely respond to what they convey – not pretend to listen and respond with a script.
When someone is navigating loss or planning for the inevitable, they may not be in a clear-headed state for making complex financial and emotional decisions. Our role is to step in as a compassionate guide. This means:
- Broadening the Lens: We must come into every conversation with a high level of compassion and a broader understanding of client needs that might extend beyond the immediate services. This often means understanding family dynamics, cultural needs, and financial realities.
- Providing Excellent Information: Our commitment is to give families the clearest, most relevant information possible so they can make informed decisions. This isn’t about upselling; it’s about presenting all the extant options—the traditional, the unique, and the economical—in a calm, accessible manner. We are there to offer meaningful solutions, not products.
- Supporting Their Choices: Once a decision is made, our support doesn’t waver. We are there to affirm their choice and execute their plan with dignity, providing consistent support for the decisions they make during an incredibly vulnerable time.
The Weight of Our Actions: Why No Interaction Is Truly Transactional
Every single interaction in deathcare, from the pre-planning session to the first call to the final follow-up, is felt by the client. Our words, our body language, and how we present options are absorbed by people who deserve our utmost respect and empathy. We cannot treat any part of this momentous process as a mere transaction.
I was reminded of this heartbreakingly clear distinction recently while listening to “Digging In”, an NFDA podcast. The story shared was a stark illustration of the consequences when compassion fails to meet the moment.
The story was about a man picking up the cremated remains of his beloved wife of 63 years. The interaction at the window was reduced to: “Here, sign this,” as a box was slid through a pick-up window—a cold, perfunctory transaction.
What followed speaks volumes. The man, alone in his profound grief, carried the urn of his beloved wife to their car. He carefully arranged a blanket for her on the passenger seat and gently secured her with a seatbelt.
Talk about a juxtaposition of incongruities. On one side, a business interaction stripped of all feeling; on the other, a lifetime of love and devotion expressed in a final, heartbreaking act of care.
Our Compassion Must Rise to Meet the Need
This story is a powerful reminder that our compassion must rise to meet the needs of the families we serve and reflect in the way we engage.
To be a professional in deathcare sales is to recognize that we are not selling caskets or urns; we are facilitating a part of someone’s grief journey. Our professional service is defined by the quality of our presence, the clarity of our guidance, and the unwavering depth of our compassion.
How do you personally ensure that every interaction—even the most minor logistical one—reflects the profound service and respect families deserve?
