Eco, Valentine.
Because of my two professions, i pen mainly on funeral planning or weddings, but i do hold other passions – like the prolific, value-focused intersection of Humanism and Minimalism.
Having a day to remind one another how much we care can be a meaningful thing if intentionally implemented. Sounds great, but what does Valentine’s Day look like if you or your partner are minimalists, simplicity-focused, or eco-conscious?
Holidays and other special occasions can be difficult to navigate, especially if you want to honor those values for someone else but don’t share them yourself. This is where Pooh Bear might say “Oh, bother!”.
Things to avoid include plastic-wrapped anything, cut flowers, balloons, plastic-packaged manufactured chocolates, expensive jewelry, non-recyclable cards, or anything that supports big/irresponsible business or items not responsibly sourced. Ack!, eh? So what’s left?
Please be mindful that people around us may be grieving the loss of loved ones, the loss of meaningful relationships, or bearing the weight of other personal burdens that get heavier on certain days. Holidays and other special occasions are high-stress times for some – please be kind to those you encounter, and know about resources to share like the Suicide Hotline (800-273-8255) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233). You can find other local (Central Florida) crisis resources here: https://namigo.org/if-in-crisis and here: https://uwcf.org/find-help.
Here are some alternative ideas – what are yours?
- Potted flowers or plants from a local nursery (rather than cut flowers)
- If you’re going out to eat, find a family-owned restaurant.
- Elevate small & diverse businesses. You can use websites like PRIDE Chamber of Commerce, African American Chamber, or a Veterans business alliance to find small and diverse-owned businesses in your community. Search for local artisans, art galleries, and artists.
- Handmade cookies (rather than store-bought, wrapped in plastic)
- If you shop for a gift, bring your own bag (as you always do!)
- If gifting is meaningful for you both, consider foregoing the wrapping, ribbons, and bows. Alternately, use Furoshiki (fabric wrapping technique – using old clothing or fabric scraps) or recyclable paper to wrap (shiny wrapping paper is not recyclable). Another way to “disguise” a gift to preserve surprise is to set up a scavenger hunt.
- If cards are meaningful for you both, make them rather than purchase them. Or support a local artist who makes greeting cards rather than buying bulk-made cards.
- If chocolates are meaningful for you both, make sure to purchase brands that meet fair-trade standards.
- Build a bridge – reach out to someone you’ve been estranged from.
- What do you give the minimalist who doesn’t want more “stuff”? Many people are living by the principal that if one thing comes into their home, they subtract something else. By giving a gift, you might impose what can be a difficult decision. Instead of things, consider:
- Experiences – things you can do together or with friends
- Consumables – things that will be used up. What does your partner like? Wine? Tea? A special liquor or food they never buy for themselves?
- Actions – Yes, a “coupon book”! What are some great things you can do for them? “One day-long hike on Paradise Path” or “Full housecleaning service by moi”.
- Things you know they want – Whether just a bar of their favorite zero-waste soap, a set of waxed fabric (plastic wrap alternative), or that hydroponic tower they’ve been wanting, listening to their “i wish” statements throughout the year and fulfilling something they truly want is an amazing gift.
- Memberships – subscription to Becoming Minimalists’ ClutterFree app, joint membership in a local yoga studio, or an organization meaningful to both of you such as a museum or a local club or organization.
- Date alternatives
- Volunteer date – make a difference together
- Picnic (mindfully planned, with no single-use items)
- A day trip to explore local beauty (or adventures!)
- Home restaurant – transform your own space into a romantic restaurant and serve a dish you both love.
- Find an area locally with small business shops or markets to visit together.
- Visit a museum, planetarium, nature preserve, animal sanctuary, or science exhibit
- Attend a local performance – a local band you both like, a poetry reading, a local comedy shows, a local live theatre, etc.
- Learn something together – take a class like painting, pottery, dance, cooking, DIY class at a craft store or Home Depot, etc.
- Do an activity together – go carts? mini golf? bowling? aerial yoga? bike ride? kayaking? archery? rock climbing? laser tag? family paintball war? How about a board game at home with one another, or with family or friends?
- Especially for Atheists and other skeptics, a visit to a local psychic to get your fortune told might be fun!
- Visit an animal shelter to spend time with homeless pets. Animal lovers might also enjoy a nice cat cafe – we do have a couple here in central Florida!)
- Visit a local brewery or vineyard
- Annual tradition – like planting a tree or taking a couple photo.
- Learn loving phrases (or your vows, if married) in other languages.
- Find a beautiful place to watch the sunrise and/or sunset. In Florida, you can make it a day trip & catch the sunrise on one coast and the sunset on the other.
- Are you getting married this valentines day?
- Have you calculated your wedding footprint? Here’s one online from LessStuffMoreMeaning.
- Have you evaluated every single-use item (things that will be thrown away after the ceremony) and tried to find alternatives?
- Have you done a plastics survey – is there any plastic item that can be replaced (or done without)?
- Have you done a new vs. upcycle survey – are you buying new clothing, or re-using clothing? Linens? centerpieces? etc.?
- Is Valentine’s Day your anniversary?
- Annual vow renewal.
- Preparing the same dish that was served at your wedding.
- An annual “wedding cake” ritual (or any other unity ritual from your wedding, such as a soy unity candle).
- If you were married in a local park or other venue, make a trip together to visit your wedding spot every year. Maybe an annual photo of you together at that spot for a digital album of your journey together.
- Annual wedding reception – host a cocktail, pot luck (or cook-off) or other party for family and friends.
- Is this “Singles Awareness Day” for you? If you’re someone who wishes to pair-bond but isn’t currently with a partner, this can be a rough day.
- Focus on Aristotelian philia & do something with friends.
- Avoid the couples messaging if it bothers you by turning off radio & tv to opt for other entertainment like TED talks or streaming music, tv, books, etc.
- Stay out of stores that are packed with bait for people with more money than will.
- Get out into nature. Take an online class.
- Focus on productivity – work, volunteering, gardening, clean out a closet – something that you can feel good about at the end of the day.
- Ask a friend to go on a Not-A-Date with you, taking inspiration from some of the date ideas above. Make the most of it – 1% is greater than 0%.
- And most importantly, remember that love is not just about partners – it is the connection we have with friends & family, with our community, or with the Earth.
Valentine’s Day can be divorced from the commercial chaos, and be a day dedicated to honoring the love we have for those around us, and the love others have for us.
How can i help?
As a Humanist Celebrant, i can offer officiation for a wedding or a private re-marriage ceremony, composition services for unique ceremonies, and other services.
More info: http://HumanistCelebrantOrlando.com
As a funeral pre-planning advisor, my guidance to you is to remember that responsible planning protects those you love. Today may be the last day we have; ask me today about how to get a Personal Planning Guide & other resources and information your family needs to have.
More info: http://tee-rogers.com/Pre-Planning-Advisor
