The Purpose of Preplanning.

A tearful client shared (with admittedly tearful me) the story of losing her parents. Dad unexpectedly; mom years later after a long, difficult battle. Shortly after dad passed, mom had pre-planned her final arrangements. The client recalled the difference between the two losses. Dad’s was chaotic, not just because of the sudden loss, but because the family didn’t know what to do. They were not prepared, didn’t know where to turn, had to “shop” for a funeral home, and make a lot of heavy decisions very quickly – when all they wanted to do was hold one another. There were even sad, angry disagreements because they didn’t know dad’s answers to the questions being asked of them, and each had an opinion.

When mom passed away, the family knew the plan, called the number, and within hours their funeral director called them to let them know mom was safely taken into the care of the funeral home and proceeded to guide the family through the process. There was no chaos; only compassion.

Preplanning final arrangements is a gift to our loved ones. Having a plan reduces trauma at a time of grief and loss. The client above was meeting with me to explore pre-planning options so that her children would be protected the way her mother protected her and her brother.

Preplanning final arrangements is the echo of your voice guiding your loved ones when you are no longer there to help them. That is its purpose.

Beyond that most important intent, there are additional advantages to you, such as protection from inflation by locking in today’s rates on both funeral and cemetery and the ability to make payments over time rather than the family having to pay all at once at the time of a loss (have you seen the funeral go-fund-me campaigns?).

Two things.

There are two important ways a funeral & cemetery professional will help you.

One is logistical; getting a plan in place with a funeral home so that when the time comes, your family knows exactly who to call and what to do.

The other is more personal than a business transaction – thinking through all of the questions that will come up at the time of your loss and getting them answered, in writing, ahead of time.

If not now, when?

Many people think death is something you deal with when it happens – some don’t even know there is a profession dedicated to helping people through the process in advance.

I hear it all the time: “I don’t need your services yet, I’m not ready to die.” If you feel that way, i didn’t explain well enough what i do. I don’t work with families after a death occurs: i help them prepare when death is not even on the horizon so that, whether expected or unexpected, the loss of a loved one is not a heavier burden than it is already going to be.

In a worst-case scenario, a family facing an imminent loss can call someone like me – a preplanning advisor – to help before their loved one dies. You may have heard stories from me before, such as holding a wife’s hand in the hospital next to her spouse’s death bed as she sobbed while picking out caskets. It is not ideal, but in many cases can give the family peace of mind and get their questions answered so that they can focus on one another when the time comes.

We all have in common the inevitability of our death. We don’t know when and we don’t know where.

Does your family know what to do?

Let’s talk about it.